Once upon a time-!!!!!!!
Seriously a long time ago, there was a child who loved Jesus she spoke to him every day, told Him of her sadness, her pain, her hopes and dreams, and most of all her longing to be Loved. The child grew and her sadness increased, she learnt to shield herself from the mental, physical and emotional abuse that she received on a daily basis, by building a wall so high and impenetrable that no- one could reach her, but her sadness and loneliness increased because the wall not only shut people out, it also shut her in.

The child became a rebellious teenager, not ever having been taught the emotional skills of Love and interaction, she stumbled blindly and painfully through life, failing at everything and finding brief snatches of human warmth and contact by the many men who used and abused her. A child was born to her and she loved her more than she ever thought possible, and for a little while she was happy. Then the torment of her former abuser began again , this time in a new and horrible way, by cruelly undermining her and destroying her own few shreds of credibility by teaching her dear little one to also despise her. In desperation, she took her child and lived in a hostel where she struggled to feed them both. her possessions were reguarly stolen and she spent many hours on her knees trying to scrub away the excrement and filth of the former occupant.Inevitably she met and married the "wrong" type of man. He was an alcoholic, a drug user and he was violent-the cycle of abuse went on.He was a womaniser and came back only at regular intervals to father yet another child before returning to his world of total depravity.

She moved to an area in a poor part of town where she struggled on, now with 4 children. She sold all of her clothes to buy food for her children, living everyday in the same frayed and torn jeans and shoes which let in the rain and the nails in the soles regularly pierced her feet.

In the area where she now lived, also lived some young people who were once of the same type as her husband, but with one big difference-they had found Jesus and had turned their lives around.They knew of this woman who now lived in their area and began to post daily Bible tracts through her door. At first she was non -plussed, but then she became annoyed and asked them to please stop. What she didn't know was that these fine young people had been praying for her ,and so, in love they continued. One day she found a New Testament had been put through her letterbox and that was the last straw for her. She went out to find them full of anger, but in her heart she was hurting. She had always loved Jesus but where was He now-why had he abandoned her? She told the young Christians that she would report thm to the Police if they continued to harrass her-their reply was- to invite her to their local Service. She was outraged and said that she would go to that meeting but not to join-rather to lecture them on the wrongs of harrassing people the way that they did.

The big night came around at last- a young man with a very Powerful Ministery-his name was Trevor Dearing was to lead the people that night. So full of anger and resentment she marched into the meeting hall -which was in point of fact an old cinema!

The service began and she hardly bothered to hear the words, until she heard the Minister invite people to come forward who wished to be saved and baptised in The Holy Spirit. Her "friends" gently nudged her and she was then torn between wanting to go down and give vent to her rage or staying put to prove that she would not be manipulated-after all she had, had a lifetime of that treatment! So she sat resolutely glued to the seat. AND THEN GOD TOOK OVER!

Afterwards,she never remembered quite what happened next, she didn't even remember walking down dozens of steps to the front of the hall. She remembered only suddenly becoming aware that she was standing there with dozens of other people, waiting for the Minister to lay hands on her. Her first and only impulse was to run! she tried to move but to her horror found that she could not move! her feet were seemingly welded to the floor. The Minister approached and she felt his hands raised over her head in Blessing as he moved along the row. Then she realised that absolutely NOTHING had happened-no earth shattering bolt out of the sky, no brilliant light, no blinding revelation, and she was utterly crushed! All of the old rejections and pain surfaced and she realised with a crushing blow that even God didn't Love her-HOW WRONG could she be!!

At that moment the Ministry team following the Preacher reached her, and a kindly elderly man, asked her how she felt, trying to stifle her sobs she said that absolutely nothing had happened. he asked her if she had ever dabbled in the occult and appalled she said a definate "no" he asked her to think very carefully and then she remembered something. At an Arts Centre where she once worked, a life model had brought in a ouiija board and they had all played with it. She explained that it was only meant to be a fun thing, and the kindly old man explained gently, the dangers of this practice and how it was an entry point for demonic activity. Then he raised his hands above her head and commanded a spirit to leave in the name of Jesus. It seemed to her that his voice thundered out and in that instant she felt a great black cloud lift right off her head and shoulders-and she was illuminated-filled with the Glorious Light and Power of The Holy Spirit . She was Healed she was Loved totally and completely. Jesus had never left or forgotton her. He had laid His Hand upon her all of her life and brought her safely to this very moment, the moment of her Baptism in His Holy Spirit.

My friends that was many, many years ago, I continue to walk the path that The Lord has set my feet upon, my Healing is forever, my Joy unspeakable and the Longing of my heart fulfilled in He who is the Saviour of My Soul. Thank you Jesus -I love you with a Love that has no words to describe it's beauty and intensity. Thank you for saving my life. And thanks to you who now read my story.I pray God that my words may be a source of encouragement to all who read this, and that they may help to bring someone a little closer to Jesus our Glorious Lord and King.

With Love & Many, Many Blessings
-Anushkii.x